وطن A Time That Knows No Return is one of Scheherazade’s masterpieces of poetry, novels, and stories by Prof. Mariam AlSayegh

A time that knows no return. Feelings very deep inside me
It was one of my first writing attempts during my high school years
From 1993 until now, It has won many Egyptian and Arab literary awards...
Today I share it with you...
To get to know my lover and to know the secret of the mixed feelings that you feel...
 
I long to return to this precious part of my being...
For this city that lies deep within my feelings and controls the inputs of my heart
No other spot can take some of what that beloved witch took...
So how?
How can I forget a spot that God has beautified with magic that captivates you in its ropes as soon as you see it...
The forces of nature have allied themselves with the fads of magic and created a picture that is rare and impossible to replicate...
You, my beloved, the city of magic, love and beauty, carry on your shoulders the dreams of two continents...
Black Africa with proud hearts, great suffering, and high hopes for liberation from the cruelty of time and the baseness of tyranny...
And Asia, with all its philosophies, secularism, dreams, and even sediments of deprivation...
my city ...
How your children amaze me, as they draw from you different civilizations and cultures
They grow up completely different, with intellectual structures that are not similar, or even almost discordant...
So it sends his mermaids and they charm some of them and call out their names
They gravitate towards them, fall in love with them, and abandon everything
Rather, they pray in love to offer the soul to answer their call
They willingly surrender themselves to the sea to spend their lives with their beloved
The one who captured his heart and took away his mind, so he spends his life loving her.
And some of them called him somewhere in some part of the universe...
He forgot his family, loved ones, and the soil of the Holy Land
He became a lover of travel, wandering around until he found the place that called him
He settles into it, but does not find what he desires in it
Rather, he spends his life lamenting a time in which he left behind his family and loved ones and did not find a substitute for them in exile...
So he returns...he returns where there is no return, and finds that he has lost even their ashes.
Some of them were deceived by the luster of money and the lust for power, so a servant went to collect it, abandoned everything, and followed him...
Because money is a very cruel master who does not have mercy on his servant
It does not keep his promises. It may stay with him for a long time or a short time
But he finally leaves him after he loses even himself and loses everything.
And among them are those who made God’s pleasure their path, so they sought everything that would make them achieve it...
You see them striving for every good thing
You will find among them geniuses who are armed with knowledge and are ripe fruits that contain all the good...
Life passes and they increase in glory and dignity and are filled with love.
Although the people of my city are different
But they all have kindness and humanity in their hearts
You find them when they are swept away by the currents of the world and finally return from their path...
My city instilled in them purity of heart, gentleness of speech, and confession of sin.
So tell me, how can a person forget this precious spot or replace it with another!!!
My city is like a jealous wife who does not approve of the presence of other women in the lives of her loved ones.
That's why I carry it in all parts of the universe and dream of it, the dream of an eager lover, whenever I dream.
Oh my heart, two years and a few months have passed since my last visit to my city...
I was overwhelmed by love, so I went to her to drink from her spring...
From the first moment the car's wheels meet the embrace of its streets
My heart felt a strange feeling...mixed feelings simmering inside me...
A mixture of happiness, dread, fear and excitement...
My mind is telling me that there is a dangerous, even momentous, event...?!!
My beloved is as It is, but she has become more beautiful
But its fragrance is different, its breeze has a strange smell.
Moments when I surrendered to my obsessions...then..
I expelled all my thoughts and thought they were illusions of distance and would vanish upon meeting.
So I roamed the streets of my African city as a worshiper roams the holy lands to receive blessings,
then I boarded the ferry
To take me to the continent of Asia, and I went to my house, kissed its doorstep, and opened its windows so that the lights could return inside.
I shook the dust of estrangement from him and from my heart...
I spoke to my childhood friend who I told her over the phone that I was in my city... and she blamed me for surprising her... because she was traveling and busy, but she promised to try to manage her affairs. I hung up the phone and was confused, not knowing whether my friend would come or whether my surprise would shock her???...!!!
Then I spoke to all my friends and the same conversation was repeated with them!!!
I spoke to my relatives and they blamed me for not visiting and not calling, and I left all the calls without knowing...
Will anyone come to visit me or not?...???
Then, after a while, they passed by my door as if they were passers-by who did not have time to drink a cup of any drink!!!
So I knew the secret of the mixed feelings and the strange feeling that came over me...
something had changed...???
Is it internal, inside us, or around us?
No...no...I don't know if the proverb that said: Far from the eyes, far from the heart...is true...??
Or has life become harsh even for me alone?
(...Oh...oh, the time of hunger and distance, where will you take us and throw us away...)
I spent my vacation with my lover, wandering its streets to wipe away my tears
It remembers my joy with me,
It is my companion and gives me all the feelings of love...
But despite all her interest...and despite my enjoyment of it!!!
But something broke inside me...
Homelands are not only places or cities, but also...
Friends and humans... Ahhh... Friends...
Where are you, humans...
I finally knew the secret of what had happened...
which is... that we are living...
 
(A time that never returns.)
Cleopatra, lover of the nation
Scheherazade of Poetry, Novel and Stories by Professor Mariam Al-Sayegh